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#3: Playing Mummy

If you’ve come here looking for pictures of dresses I’ve sewn, tips on calming techniques to soothe grouchy toddlers, or general smug advice about being a parent then I apologise in advance. The fact is parenting is your own unique journey and no-one should be telling you how to do it. Sometimes you do get it right *air punch, high kicks, YEAH!* but more often than not you don’t. Half the time you are refereeing fights over Lego, watching as a two-year-old lays themselves down in a supermarket aisle, and letting them have free reign on Netflix whilst you console yourself over a bottle of gin. Gin. That’s the only thing I will preach to you about. Gin makes it better.

So, more often than not, I will blog about the stuff that isn’t quite working out as my parenting manual said It would; mostly in an attempt to unburden myself and pray that someone out there has gone through similar and we can share in our misery together. There will be a few lists. Mainly because I like lists. Here’s a list I wrote last summer - you can apply it any holiday and with Easter fast approaching, it feels like the right time to publish this.

THINGS I'LL DO IN THE HOLIDAYS

1) Looking at people’s Facebook holiday pictures

We haven’t got the money to go away this year. Because that would be the dream: villa, beach, kids in a pool every day, wine, floaty dresses, Birkenstocks, wine, standing in front of a mirror to admire one’s tan lines. Wine. So if you are away this holiday, have fun, people. Enjoy that sun. Have a bottle (or five) of wine for pasty ol' me.

<--- not happening unless we win the lottery...boo :(