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The Name Game

What's in a name, eh? Here's a factoid for you: I'm not overly keen on my name. Since Kristens Stewart, Wiig and Bell have come on the scene, they've given my name context and made it more recognisable but for the most part, it's the bane of my existence. For a start, my maiden name is Paul. Say Kristen Paul really sounds like Crystal Ball. Thanks for that, Mum. I was apparently named after the lady who shot JR Ewing in Dallas. My mum was drawn to it as she was also a big fan of Kris Kristofferson. So basically I was named after a gun-toting mistress seeking revenge and a hairy dude from the 70s. Yep, that's me all over.

The Kristin/Kris who inspired my name. Thanks, guys!

Over the years, my name has become quite the bugbear. Here's another pie chart for you.

I get called Kirsten a lot. In fact, there's a mum at the school gate who's lovely but calls me Kirsten. I've never corrected her. To the point where I just let her call me Kirsten as we've known each other for two years now and it's too awkward to correct her. In general, it gets turned into Kirsten on spellchecks and autocorrect. But sometimes it doesn't. I do the admin for Jon Snow's football team and run into a lot of men in tracksuits who look a lot like Smithy from Gavin & Stacey. I introduce myself to them as Kristen. Five minutes later, they call me Kirsten. #FFS.

'Yeah, love...little bit woooo, little bit weeey...innit, Kirsten....'

The King of the North doesn't care too much for his name either. Nick rhymes with a lot of bad words, see how many you can come up with in a variety of combinations and sentences. It's a fun game. So, when it came to naming our children, it was important to us that we did it properly and without frivolity. Names are a serious business. We don't want our kids to have to suffer the same fate as us. We don't want abbreviated nicknames. I mean, what sort of idiot names the